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Life is short. Letting the small things affect you is OKAY, just don’t let them ruin you. Just hold your head up high & keep on hoping, eventually it’ll all work out.
I have my group of close friends, that when I’m with either just one of them or with all of them, my sadness fades away. I still have my anxiety although, that’s tough to go on it’s own.
Any questions? Is there a certain subject I should write about? A topic for a video perhaps? What do you guys want?
Don’t Really Care Anymore
Don’t care what it is you think of me or what I say,
I’m free to question what I want whenever I desire,
I had to grow up fast I refuse to let others walk on me,
We’ll Tour The World, Darling.
Look me in the eyes & tell me how you feel dead inside,
Give me all the reasons why you want to pull that trigger,
Display your scars proudly ; Walk with your head up high!
Sitting in your room at night wondering why you feel so alone,
Your heart is aching & you can’t figure out why,
Asking so many questions not caring if you get the answers,
Trying so hard to not lose control but it’s getting out of hand,
Sighing so loud you shatter the silence ; You’re only quiet when you’re upset,
You look around hoping to find a reason not to pick up the blade,
You’re searching in yourself the power to keep going,
Don’t ever fucking pick it up you’re the reason I want to stick around!
Alright look ; I’m writing this so you know someone gives a damn about you,
I understand how you’re torn up inside with no way of fixing the mess,
You’re lost with no way back home but to me that doesn’t make you any less amazing,
There’s a reason you’re here we may not know it but I’m sure we’ll find out soon,
Don’t let your fear control ; You’re allowing yourself to be the victim,
I can’t stand by watching not attempting to save you,
I know that’s impossible when I’m only fifthteen but I’ll love you until I take my last breath,
No one should feel alone so tonight I’ll dream of us & if I lose sleep over you oh well.
I know you could fall apart piece by piece,
I know how you think you’re not worthy of attention ; Underserving of love,
Even if I have to find a way inside the walls you placed ; I won’t give up,
The world can’t suffer the loss of a beautiful soul ; That’s you & no one could take your place,
The sound of you falling apart breaks my heart ; I should be there with you to hold you,
Hold on until you escape this place ; I’ll take you somewhere new,
If you promise to make it alive ; I promise to love you with all my heart,
If you promise to recover ; I promise to never go back,
If you can fucking promise me you’ll survive ; I promise you I’ll help you through this.
No. Things aren’t okay. I won’t pretend. Writing is my outlet. I’m hoping you guys can find meaning in it, like I do.
I can’t say I forgot about the person, because to be honest there’s more than one who have hurt me. I don’t know if I’m better.
Son & His Sun
Stop telling yourself I’m fine when I’m not,
If the heart is found at home then I’ll be searching forever in Hell,
Where’d my breath go?
Was it swallowed along with my happiness?
Why are the nights so lonely if the stars shine so bright?
Why are the days so hard to get through if I can see what’s in front of me?
Lost all my friends due to lack of communication,
Lost all my motivation due to lack of inspiration,
Twisted all my woes into one spiral staircase,
Took the long way up so I could drown in my own thoughts,
You see seasons come & go but what happens in between?
Nobody really talks about it ‘cause I guess nobody really cares,
The way I see it is you have to get old even if you want to stay young,
You can’t plant a seed & expect it to not grow where’s the reasoning in that?
One minute it’s perfect I’m feeling alright but then the seconds pass by & I realize that I’m not,
Do I believe that time heals all wounds?
It’s hard to say it’s true when I keep lying to myself about the things around me,
It’s the nights that make me feel so alone when I lay in bed & think about you,
It’s the days that make me cry when I think about how it used to be,
My handwriting is sloppy cause my hand can’t stop shaking,
My voice is so messed up cause I can’t think before I speak,
It’s sort of impossible to get out of that ’ fuck this, fuck that ’ state when you’re in it,
But oh well, fuck it.
I’m glad! That’s great to know, & I mean it. Maybe you can come back & let me know how it is you discovered music & running were your way of coping :)
You will. There are more than enough reasons to be happy. It’s not about the big things in life. Although, there is more than happiness from them. The small things, being alive, experiencing life. The thought of growing up & leaving your hometown if its your wish. There can be happiness found even in being depressed.
It’s getting better for me, & I thought that’d be impossible. Honestly, it does. You just need the courage to change for the better. Sometimes hard decisions are necessary for your well-being. If you keep that mindset where you tell yourself it’ll stay the same, then you keep yourself in the cycle. But once you break free, the weight of everything will slowly begin to fade away. All it takes is some time.